Acknowledgement

Acknowledgement, parental authority, choice of name, you no longer see the wood for the trees. Who must arrange what and when? First a small summary:

MARRIED OR REGISTERED PARTNERSHIP

  • Hetero couple
    • birth registration
  • Lesbian couple
    • possibly name choice
    • birth registration
      • unknown donor, you need a statement from the donor data foundation
      • known donor

NOT MARRIED OR NO REGISTERED PARTNERSHIP

  • Hetero couple
    • acknowledgement
    • possibly name choice
    • birth registration
    • parental authority
  • Lesbian couple
    • acknowledgement
    • possibly name choice
    • birth certificate
      • unknown donor, you need a statement from the donor data foundation
      • known donor
    • Parental authority

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

If you are not married or do not have a registered partnership, the biological father or the co-mother will have to acknowledge the child in order to be able to call themselves a legal parent. Only then is he/she obliged to maintain the child, and will he or she acquire a legal inheritance relationship with him or her. You can acknowledge the baby after he or she is born but also before that time, which is called acknowledging the unborn fruit. It is advisable to do this on time, in case something happens to the father or mother during the pregnancy or if you give birth too early. When acknowledging you can immediately arrange the choice of name. For this you and your partner go to the Civil Registry. The name choice immediately applies to all subsequent children the couple has and can only be changed afterwards in very special cases.

Acknowledging is done at the Civil Registry. To acknowledge a child, permission of the mother is required. If the mother does not attend, she must give written permission for the acknowledgement.
For more information, refer to the website of the Municipality of Haarlemmermeer or www.rijksoverheid.nl

NAME CHOICE

You can choose the surname of the mother, the duo mother, or the father together for your first child. The chosen surname also applies to all subsequent children. The choice of a surname can be recorded before the birth or when registering the birth. You go to the registry office together to have your choice of name recorded. This cannot be done by either of you and also not in writing. If you must acknowledge your child first, you can choose your child's surname when acknowledging. You can also choose a name in the event of adoption and the judicial determination of parentage.

Do you not choose a surname, or did you not record your choice in time? Then the law determines which surname your child will have. Which name that is depends on your personal situation.

The following applies to married lesbian couples or couples with a registered partnership;

  • The mother is pregnant from an unknown donor (within the meaning of the Artificial Insemination Donor Data Act). Your child will automatically be given the surname of the duo mother. This is only possible if the co-mother automatically becomes a legal parent at birth. For this, the person who registers the child at the registry office (usually the co-mother) must submit a statement from the Foundation for Donor Data Artificial Insemination (parenthood statement). Do you want your child to have the surname of the birth mother? Then you must have this recorded together at the registry office.
  • The mother is pregnant from a known donor and the co-mother acknowledges the child. Your child will automatically be given the surname of the birth mother. Do you want your child to have the surname of the duo mother? Then you must have this recorded, together with your partner, at the registry office.

For lesbian couples who are not married and do not have a registered partnership, the duo mother will first have to acknowledge the child before you can choose the name together.

Tip: Make an appointment at the municipality well before the birth, that saves stress after the birth! With this appointment a 'deed of name choice' will be drawn up. You will have to bring this with you when registering the birth. For the appointment at the municipality, you need to bring a passport or identity card of both you and your partner and the parentage statement from the Foundation for Donor Data.

Read more about name choice on the website of the Dutch Government.

DECLARATION

After birth, the child must be declared at the Civil Registry of the municipality where it was born. This is usually done by the father or duo mother. If there is no father or if he cannot make a declaration, someone else who was present at the birth must do so. The mother can always register the birth. In some municipalities it is possible to file (part of) the declaration via DigiD.

PARENTAL AUTHORITY

When an unmarried partner has acknowledged the child, this does not mean that he/she also shares parental authority with the mother. Parental authority is the right and duty to raise and care for the child. In addition, the person who has parental authority over a child is also his or her legal representative. Every child under the age of 18 is under the 'authority' of one or more adults. Read more about parental authority.

FAMILY OF TWO MEN?

At the moment of the birth of a child, there is always a mother. Motherhood can only end through adoption. Upon adoption, you can choose the surname of your first child. This happens in court. Subsequent children will have the same last name as your first child.

For more information, look at the website of the Dutch Government.

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