Bonding with your baby
Attachment is the relationship the baby forms with its parents or caregivers. It is the attachment of the baby, but also of the parents to the baby, that makes a successful attachment. Attachment is very important for the proper emotional and social development of your child.
Skin-to-skin contact
The bonding process begins immediately after birth. All caregivers will ensure that your baby can lie undisturbed with you for the first hour after birth. Even after birth, hold your baby skin-to-skin against you every day.
Rooming-in
That means that you and your baby stay together day and night. That way you get to know your child's needs well. It is advised to place the cot in your bedroom for the first six months.
You promote good bonding if..
- gives you love
- responds well to its needs
- responds to the contact your child seeks
- contact your child yourself
- feed your child when they are hungry
- it comforts when it cries
- it rocks and touches lovingly
- spell or sing if your child wants to
- show that you understand what your child wants
To feed
Feeding takes time, no, so take your time. It's a moment of you together. Make contact while feeding. Look him in the eye, speak softly to him, provide maximum touch. Touch ensures good adhesion.
What if you don't feel a connection?
It may be that after birth the bond with your child is not yet that strong. Causes can be: your hormones are still changing. If the delivery was very difficult, you may have to process that first. If your baby is in the incubator, it can be more difficult to bond. Your baby may cry a lot. Your expectations may have been very different. Sometimes a mother has to get used to the baby and the new life, especially with a first child. You may also have other concerns, such as money or illness.
It's very annoying when you don't feel a strong connection. You can feel guilty about that. Then remember that it usually works out and don't be ashamed of it. Allow your negative feelings and try to understand why you feel that way. Give yourself time and ensure peace by finding a daily rhythm that suits you well. Talk about it with the people around you. Or seek help from a midwife/maternity nurse or general practitioner.
